The BuzzwordMasochist is the best friend of the StandardsAndMethodologyGuy. 
He is ''everywhere''.
You might be one too. Most people in high-tech are BuzzwordMasochist(s).
''Admit it!''

----

Recommentions for the BuzzwordMasochist: How to select an ApplicationServer?

'''Choose a young company'''
	* They are hyper-innovative. They innovate on top of other innovations. They don't know old stuff and will reinvent everything for you.
	* The company's name should include the words "net" or "web". This guarantees  that they have less than 4 years of experience. The less, the better. At   least they should have less experience than yourself.
	* Be suspicious if they claim to have 10+ years of experience. Probably they use binary numbers.  ''(Or, they did a sum from everyone connected with the company.  No really; small startups really do this!)''
	* Big companies are no fun to work with because they are too stable. No risk no fun.
	* IBM is evil. Oracle doesn't develops the real Java, it's just a database and a hardware manufacturer. Nothing else exists on the world than start-up companies. (Check also derivates and the new market   frequently.)

'''Don't care about Java'''
	* Pure Java is only about coffee. A better name would be cholesterol-free. A   Java Application Server is basically a coffee machine.
	* Choose a 4JL. It's almost the same as a 4GL. If nobody knows what a 4JL is,   you can "own" this new buzzword. You will be famous.
	* Who likes programming anyway? Consider coffee instead. Let external   contractors do the dirty work.
	* Enjoy debugging. Work only with beta versions. Delivery is the end of joy.
	* Make it more fun by using a framework without source code. You can not only   be a detective but rather a secret agent or spy.

'''Choose a product by name'''
	* To the company naming rule add liberally "Active", "object", "component".   The ideal product is ActiveNetObjectWebComponentCoffeeMachine, Ver. 37alpha.
	* Measure the importance of your project by the price tag of the product. If   your project is not worth that $$$ product, it's not worth working on the   project anyway.

'''Make "VapourTechnology" a key requirement'''
	* If no product supports it, you can choose anything you like. Wouldn't you   like to have a new palmtop?
	* Strongly believe in "the next release will have it". 
	* If you don't know the VT, include all RFPs, beta and 1.0 specifications   around.
	* To exclude most products ask for object-level transactions. The only choice   -- OODBs -- are nonexistent for management. You won't have to use an OODB  because you have an RDB already.

'''Misc'''
	* Don't make pilot projects. The word "pilot" devalues a project. Call it   "strategy" instead.
	* Everybody should make his/her own strategy. The nice thing about strategies   is that there are so many to choose from (and they look good on your resume).
	* Apply PoliticalEngineering techniques to promote your strategy upon others.
	* Don't base product choice or strategy on experience. Experience is futile.
	* Avoid people with experience. They will invariably be against you.
	* Ignore operations. If you follow these recommendations you will not make it   that far anyway. 
	* Ignore the customer. That should be obvious.

'''New buzzwords'''
	* develop an instinct for new buzzwords.
	* use them wisely and have new ones ready. Example: we all know that client/server is dead. Now we build multi-tier achitectures. But you know better. Don't tell the customer that this really means MultiTearArchitecture unless he finds out himself during roll-out. 
	* if you want to amuse everyone in a meeting, then keep straight face and say "Let's ask the StandardsAndMethodologyGuy in your company about this."
	* create a new discipline: buzzwordology.

-----

What about the ThreeLetterAcronymZealot -- is this a related concept?  --PhilipEskelin

Hey, cool, I'm going to start a company to build WisdomBases -- JimCoplien

Fantastic.  This was me five minutes, er, I mean years ago ''--RichardEmerson''