We dare not speak his name. His initials are W.C.

''Water Closet?''

	 :	One Link to rule them all,
	 :	One Link to find them,
	 :	One Link to bring them all,
	 :	And in the Wiki bind them.
	 :	In Portland, where the Patterns lie.

''Hmm. I live but three miles from Ward, and I've yet to notice any giant all-seeing eyes towering over the West Hills. -- ScottJohnson''
* What did you think the KGON tower was? Radio broadcast? Yeah, right! -- IanOsgood (The picture below should convince you.)
** ''Hey, you're right! Of course, Ward's postal address is in Garden Home, a bit of a distance from the KGON tower. But that could just be a ploy...''

But he does have that tower behind his house that he calls a "Ham Radio Antenna".

http://www.sbe124.org/Tours/Stonehenge_Lightning_Strike_1024.jpg

Obviously you're a DarkMinion. Or possibly an obsessed stalker. What, the place next door wasn't available? ;-)

''It was, but my realtor warned me that the neighborhood was full of giant spiders; and I saw a handful of orcs on the corner, begging for change. And don't get me started on the sulphur...''

Time to use the OrcKillingPattern.
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The DarkLordOfPortland is rumored to work in the small fortress, cleverly disguised as an office building, located at the center of this picture; the hub of his all-knowing network of palantirs (one of which, dear reader, you are currently gazing into) is reportedly located there:

http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=45.467724,-122.717725&spn=0.005118,0.006877&t=k&hl=en

Route to the tower:

http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=45.481339,-122.699776&spn=0.043173,0.063343&t=k&saddr=7830+sw+40th+ave,+portland+or&daddr=4636+S.W.+Council+Crest+Drive,+portland,+or&hl=en

Though now that the DarkLordOfPortland is in the service of the LordOfTheOses; that may no longer be true...

''Ah! So the picture above is of Isengard and not Mordor. '''That''' makes much more sense; as Ward didn't seem to be the dark lord type to me.''

Oh, yes. Saruman was so much nicer than Sauron was..... ''He was before he gazed into the palantir... at any rate, that would explain why all the trees here in Oregon are being cut down. :)''

'''Hrrrmm, hrrrmmmm, look out, Ward, Treebeard has your GPS coordinates!'''

''We regret to inform you that Treebeard was turned into TwoByFour''''''s quite a few years ago. While he and the rest of the Ents were able to defeat Saruman, they were no match for Weyerhauser.''

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It appears that the DarkLordOfPortland has escaped the clutches of Microso, er, Mordor; and is now "Director of Community Development".  I thought that the manufacture of orcs and their armaments ''was'' community development.


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CategoryWhimsy