For the following situation:
"When it absolutely, positively has to get there yesterday."

This is originally from SaturdayNightLive.

If your boss states IwantItYesterday, then you need EinsteinExpress.

Cheers, -- JasonNocks

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''MAD Magazine'' once did a satire on a "slow" delivery service - that promised to deliver your package/letter etc. ''weeks'' (if not more) after it was mailed; often with "accidental" damage, etc. (The customer could specify the earliest delivery date. The item in question would, of course, be postmarked on the day it was sent).

Useful for sending wedding invitations, etc. to those annoying relatives who you ''have'' to invite (or else there will be hell to pay) but whom you would rather not attend.

''Cool. Do you remember the name of it? --jn''

No... it was back in the '80s....  ''Games'' Magazine once mentioned a similar service in the "find the fake ad" feature they had back in their heyday.


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Paradox Express: you are the Unibomber, and send a package to yourself to blow yourself up before you have a chance to mail the bomb.

Heisenburg Express presents a new tracking feature, just don't ask exactly where your shipment is or we can't gaurantee when it will arrive.

Schroedinger Express:  Your package has and hasn't arrived until you check the mail. ''At which point the wave function collapses...''

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CategoryWhimsy