Once, there was a civilization (the Lisp Machine world) a lot like ours, but more advanced, with greater powers (like symbolic computation, automated learning, and LISP).

Then, in one tragic moment (er, decade - the 1980's), it was destroyed.

But because of the wisdom of Jor-El (Stall-Man), because he realized that the human race had the capacity for good, he sent us his only son (editor).  

His name is Kal-El (elisp).  He will call himself Clark Kent (Editor MACroS), but the world will know him as... Superman (Emacs).

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So Xemacs is the Fork-tress of Solitude?

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''This page is a candidate for some Kryptonite...or at least for deletion''

You are a candidate for a sense of humor transplant.

''It wasn't that funny.  At any rate, continuing this obviously fractured analogy, what would JavaLanguage be?  General Zod?''
No, Symbolics is General Zod. From the same world as Emacs, always trying to get it to kneel before him

[I could imagine this theme being funny, given a rewrite. It would take someone less easily amused (or less high) and a better grasp on history, methinks.]

Can Emacs fly backwards around the world to turn back time?  Which vulcan-grip key combo is that?

''Control-Time, of course.''  Actually, you have to prefix that with a negative number, if you want to go back.  Obviously. See ReportFutureEmacsBug

What would be Lex Luthor?  vi?  (Or would the "lex" scanner generation tool be Lex Luthor?)

''The latter. '''Some''' of us think that vi belongs to the Legion of Superheroes, too, even if it doesn't have the superpowers that superman does. '''Some''' people think Batman, Spiderman, et al, are cooler, even though obviously Superman could kick their asses. (There once was a race between Superman and the Flash...but I digress.)''

<nerd>In all fights between Batman and Superman, Batman has won.</nerd>

** When your superhero is damn near invincible, it gets boring pretty quickly.

''As with the poignant ending of (the older superhero) Cyranno de Bergerac, it is all about panache.''  Or a really long nose.

** What superhero would MicrosoftNotepad be?  Probably The Spleen... ''or the Tick''  [Spoon!]
*** Nah, Notepad isn't quirky enough to be the Tick. Notepad is some random villain's flunkie.  Easy to defeat, but there are always more around.
**** Notepad is obviously Multiple Santa.
*** and all this time it was easy to defeat with a simple file over X? bytes
*** You are '''all''' wrong.  Notepad obviously has to be FanBoy, you know, from FreakaZoid.
*** What editor (program?) would TheTick be, then, bearing in mind that it would have to be quirky, fun, really stoopid, and basically require another program of lesser power but greater intelligence to make sure it doesn't get lost...maybe it's ''GNU/Linux''.  [Or XWindows]
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If Emacs could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when the bad guys threw their guns at him?
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So what is Emacs's kryptonite? ''Low memory and disk space.''
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In EmacsAsOperatingSystem and UnixCulture there is the comment that "Emacs is a refugee from the long dead culture of LispMachine''''''s. It's an asylum seeker in the UnixCulture."  That could explain why it has "Powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal editors."
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CategoryEmacs, CategoryJoke, CategoryRant -- take your pick; they're all relevant