(An old joke; relevance to ExtremeProgramming, and to non-extreme programming, will I hope be clear.  --PaulChisholm)

MESSAGE FROM THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON TO THE BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON--written from
Central Spain, August 1812 

Gentlemen, 

Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers
have been diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and thence by
dispatch to our headquarters. 

We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's
Government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and
every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence. 

Unfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there
has been a hideous confusion as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in
western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a
fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall. 

This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government so
that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of
two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue either one with the best of my ability, but I cannot do both: 

1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London or
perchance. 

2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain. 

Your most obedient servant, 

Wellington

----
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