The following discussion was unearthed at a recent dig in
the Mediterranean area.  It was evidently recorded on a set
of clay tablets that formed a correspondence of sorts
between two members of a society that thrived on dialog.

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TheEarthIsFlat.

''No, it's round.''

It's flat.  Everyone knows this.  All relevant experts say so.  
If it were round, I would be able to observe the curvature.  In
order for you to discuss this with me you must first study the
words of the experts.

''It's round.  If you could stand back far enough, you would see it's curved.''

Well, I can't stand back far enough, so I can't observe it, 
so your argument has no merit.  It's flat.

''I have seen this curvature from the great height of a tall mountain. ''
''It's round.''

* Note: Being on a high mountain will not reveal a human-detectable curvature. The mountain argument is bogus unless special equipment was used.

You must have imagined it.  I can only accept arguments that agree with 
my current ability to perceive.  Your argument does not comply, therefore
it is invalid.  Flat.

''Round.  Your inability to perceive this roundness does not mean it ''
''does not exist.''

Flat.  You cannot prove your observation to me.  Moreover, you have no
experts that compete with mine.

''Round.  My observation is real.''

Flat.  Your observation is a hallucination brought on by your desire
to have the roundness be so.  My experts back me up and, further, they
point out that people who disagree with them are unbalanced.  Besides,
you're beginning to annoy me.  You will note that it was I, not you,
who established this conversation, so, by the RuleOfDibs, the burden
of proof is yours.  Nyaah, nyaah.

''My own firsthand observation is that the Earth is round, and I must ''
''consider such observation above expert opinion.''

It's flat, I tell you.  Shut the f*** up.  I told you that I don't
accept anything you say that doesn't agree with my opinion.  You are
ignorant.  You are stupid.  Only an idiot would assume a position I
don't support.  Why are you still here?  I'm going to obliterate
anything you say that contradicts me, since I know I'm right.

[ ... all further conversation seems to have been obliterated ... ]

----

The shape of the earth is unknown until proven otherwise. A true scientific stance would be something like, "It appears flat from my vantage point, but if it curves on a larger scale, I cannot tell. Thus, forced to choose based on my observations, I will select flat, but realize that I have limited information to make a conclusive judgement." Humans should realize that we know less than we think we know. We will never be able to see the whole picture.

----

Any resemblance between this conversation and real, present day
conversations is purely coincidental.  No mental midgets were harmed
in making this record.  The terms "Earth," "flat," "round," and
"RuleOfDibs" are trademarks owned by their respective ... owners. 
All rights reserved.

Stay tuned for some kind of reason why a page like this might exist.

''Gee, I can't imagine. ;-)''

''That's very funny.''

{I wonder if they could just compromise on a nice zenlike french curve? ;->}

----

I wonder how Mr. Earth-is-flat explained seeing the masts first when ships sailed toward you over the horizon?  Probably lived in a land-locked valley.  In his head, anyway...

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I wish software design depended on physical assumptions that we could test with physical instruments, like we can with the shape of the world. Instead, too much of it depends on human psychology, and the human brain is about as well known as the shape and size of the earth to the ancients. This condition is perfect fodder for massive, messy intellectual battles. See DisciplineEnvy.

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CategoryStory CategoryWhimsy