''It appears that MicroSoft has hired Klingons....''

* Specifications are for the weak and timid! 
* This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code! ''You are MISTAKEN!! Only a most excellent machine could be worthy of being compared to a plate of gagh!'' How dare you! I am NOT mistaken. Machines should not be eaten, they are weapons, they should be hard and sharp, not soft and creepy!
* You cannot really appreciate Dilbert until you have heard it in the original Klingon. 
* Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull! 
* What is this talk of "Release"? Klingons do not make software "releases". Our software "escapes", leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake! 
* Klingon functions calls do not have "parameters" - They have "ARGUMENTS" and they ALWAYS WIN. 
* "Debugging"? Klingons do not debug.  Our software does not coddle the weak. 
* I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat'leth contest. They will not concern us, again. 
* A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code! 
* By filing this user request, you have challenged the honour of my family! PREPARE TO DIE!! 
* You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand! 
* Our users will know fear, and cower before our software!  Ship it!  Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!! 
* Sales people have no honor 
* Four thousand lines of code may be typed in one night by a fast coder.
* A bug may become a feature in the time it takes to compile the code.
* Only a fool codes in an IDE.
* Perhaps today IS a good day to resign!
* Test or Code. Not both!
* They are not our customers. They are our enemies!
* Out Project Manager acted like a spineless P'taaq in that meeting! I have deleted his login and I assume command myself!

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This is fun the first time you see it.  A quick observation, though, is that a search on http://www.google.com shows that this already appears on the web some 200 times. Maybe I'm just a PartyPooper ...
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This page would not be complete without mentioning Var'aq, the Klingon ProgrammingLanguage.  One typically ends a program with "abort(); kill(); kill();"

http://www.geocities.com/connorbd/varaq/
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CategoryStarTrek