''Neal, last edit 2005-03-24; this note added 2007-05-26'' Neal Martin is dedicated to the Wikipedia project. Somebody claiming to be Neal Martin has made lewd and licentious comments in Wikipedia pages, often inventing fictitious works and attributing them to prominent authors in a crude attempt at lampoons and mockery. Neal Martin categorically rejects such gutter attempts at humor. Neal Martin is not an asshole. Neal Martin did not throw a kegger in the Math/Physics Lounge. Neal Martin does not like to pretend Alanis Morissette's "You ought to Know" was written addressing him personally. Neal Martin's wardrobe is not overwhelming with Polyester. Neal Martin has no outstanding warrants for his arrest. Neal Martin does not steal ketchup.