An international GrandConspiracy dedicated to the extinction of all life outside airports and train stations.

''Is someone feeling a little JetLag''''ged?''

The OneWorldAlliance is here to help you. We're with you all the way. We are your friends. Surely you can see that now. We want your journey to be smoother. Don't you want your journey to be smoother? 

We apologize for the inconvenience. We will place you on an upgrade list. You will earn miles. Miles contribute to your tier status. I'm sorry, sir or madam, you may not wait in the pre-flight lounge. Your tier status doesn't permit that. But these are VeryGoodSeats. We want you to maintain your tier status. Our representatives will be available to answer any questions. Should an inconvenience arise, our clearly marked counters are available at all participating terminals.

''Please lock your shoes and remember, the yellow line is there for your safety ...''

Please proceed to the security counter. We're sorry, sir or madam, but you are not permitted to leave the airport at this time. Please return to the check-in counter. We apologize for any inconvenience. If you experience any difficulty, our helpful cabin crew will provide a complimentary cup of water. Tonight's inflight movie will feature Bette Midler, Meg Ryan, and Whoopi Goldberg in a delightful offbeat comedy about romance in the big city. Please watch these images of waterfalls and clouds. We apologize, sir or madam, but you may not turn off the display of images. In case of loss of cabin pressure, a mask will drop down from the overhead storage bins. We apologize for the extinction of all life outside airports and train stations ...

''Some folks will just never understand the true depths to which DouglasAdams has affected their subconscious...''

Actually Adams is only a cheap copy of RobertAntonWilson.

''Click. Click. Okay - an extreme righto-leftist who flames politicians. No quarrel there. Hey! Wait a minute! He quoted PaulGaugin!! Blech!''

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Airline alliances are scary creatures. They are totally unregulatable multinationals, and many of the constituent airlines are or were government sanctioned monopolies anyway. Damned CorporateGovernment. 
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