* '''TestDrivenDevelopment''' - We pay you to write functions, not tests!
	* '''SimpleDesign''' - It took me weeks to draw this complete, detailed object model with Rose. If you won't type it in, I can find someone who will!
	* '''RefactorMercilessly''' - Don't change that it works!
	* '''ContinuousIntegration''' - All check-ins require my approval. You might check in a bug.
	* '''FrequentReleases''' - Does it have all the features I authorized the Marketing Department to sell yet, hmm?
	* '''CustomerAcceptanceTests''' - Don't bother me with dumb questions - read the spec!
	* '''CommonStyleGuide''' - I need to be able to tell who wrote what code at all times - don't try to hide it!
	* '''SystemMetaphor''' - Report to the company nurse immediately for a urine test.
	* '''PairProgramming''' - Can't you do your own job?
	* '''WholeTeam''' - This isn't a party - everyone back to their cubicles.
	* '''SustainablePace''' - Your colleagues are working late - why aren't you?
	* '''PlanningGame''' - Don't come back until all those requirements are coded. What do you mean which ones are important? They are ''all'' important!

Category''''''PointyHairedBoss, CategoryExtremeProgramming, CategoryAntiPattern