If you ever get stuck on a project that is doomed, and everyone knows it, sometimes music can lighten the mood at appropriate times.  Hence, ''songs for doomed projects''.  Be heard singing (or humming) the following tunes at appropriate times at work, and your teammates will enjoy a knowing chuckle.

For extra points, do it when the PointyHairedBoss is within earshot.

'''For working late at night'''

Doomed projects frequently become a DeathMarch, where lots of overtime becomes a fact of life.  Great tunes for this situation include:

* "Colonel Bogey's March" from BridgeOnTheRiverKwai
* "I feel like I'm fixin' to die rag" by CountryJoe (and the Fish)
* "We've gotta get out of this place" by the Animals

'''For the post-project review'''

Doomed projects (usually) will eventually come to an end (though some are known to run forever in shops with bad management that isn't willing to cut their losses).  Invariably, there will be a post-mortem, where management attempts to assign blame.  A heady dose of optimism can help; to cheer the team up and point out that not ''all'' was lost (we ''did'' learn something--hopefully), the following refrain can be used:

* "Grow the Roses" from ChittyChittyBangBang.  The last line of the refrain sums it up nicely:  "From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success"

'''When security escorts you out'''

If you become the designated ScapeGoat and experience involuntary separation from your employer as a result; be sure to be heard singing one of these ditties as the rent-a-cop watches you clean out your desk:

* "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".  Evokes memories of the final scene from MontyPython's ''LifeOfBrian''

* "Until We Meet Again".  Evokes memories of the final scene from ''DrStrangelove''

* "Ding! Dong! The Witch is Dead!" from ''TheWizardOfOz''

also:
* "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen

* "Broken" by Nine Inch Nails

* "Take This Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck

* "I Guess He'd Rather Be in Colorado" by John Denver (unless you're already in Colorado) "Once again up in his office, once again a quiet cough is all he has to show he lives in NewYorkCity"

* "I'm goin' to Katmandu" by Bob Seger.

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CategoryHumor