Second to last point in the how-to part of HighlyPaidConsultant reminds me of the joke: 

Liszt walks past house with sign, "Piano lessons. 5 marks", terrible noises coming from inside. Takes pity, goes in to teacher, spends some time
helping her piano technique. Goes away happy. 

Comes into town again next year, passes by house again. Same terrible noises as before, but new sign, "Piano lessons. Studied under the great
pianist Liszt. 35 marks." 

-- AlistairCockburn 

OscarWilde got this right of course.
	 :	'''Name-dropping bore:''' "I passed by your house the other day, Oscar."  
	 :	'''Wilde:''' "Thank you so much."

-- RichardDrake

Something the great violin teacher Auer is supposed to have said when the King of France, his pupil, ask how much progress he had made. "Sire,
there are three levels, those who do not play the violin, those who play the violin badly, and those who play the violin well. In two short weeks, you
have moved up one full level." 

I've heard another story about Liszt, which is sort of dual to the one above. He saw an advertisement for a concert to be given by some unknown pianist who claimed to be a "Pupil of Liszt". He'd never heard of her. So he found out where she lived and went to visit her. She was mortified - she'd never expected her bluff to be called. He then sat her down at the piano, asked her to play something, made a few comments, and said "There you are, my dear. Now you can truthfully say you're a pupil of Liszt.". I ''think'' this story is actually true, though I can't remember where I heard it or on what authority.

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My father-in-law claims to be the greatest chess instructor in the world. "I can take someone who knows nothing about chess," he explains, "and in 30 minutes teach them enough to beat me!" -- BillBarnett

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