Generally always the same for a given person (determined by religion and philosophy).

Objects which are DatingAntiPatterns:

	* Marriage and nothing less.
	* Sex and nothing more.
	* Filling a void in one's life.

(These are listed as DatingAntiPatterns, because they are - responses below please - unless both daters want the exact same thing.  That is possible, but very unlikely.)

Objects which are DatingPatterns:

	* Enjoying the evening.
	* Building friendships.

Objects which are more or less neutral:

	* Finding out (not 'deciding') how much commitment one wants with this person.
	* More generally, getting to know the person better.

The reason that enjoying the evening should be one's primary goal going into a date is that, prior to knowing a person well, one cannot, and should not attempt to, judge how much commitment would be appropriate. -- DanielKnapp

''This is why, in the beginning, it's OK to PlanToThrowOneAway.  If you're going to completely devote your heart and soul to a woman before you've even asked her out, you're setting yourself up for a crushing blow if she says "no".''

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''Consider refactoring.  I wanted to add an antipattern, "Filling a void in one's life", but the ordinal numbers make it tough.  Incidentally, if you're that needy, consider getting a pet.''

''Yeah, I tried to avoid phrasing it that way...  Well I've just given it another try.  Hah!  Well yes, I *am* that needy, but I didn't realize this page showed it until you pointed it out.  Oh, and I love my two cats, but not in that way.''

You can consider dating a specialized form of simply getting to know more people. This is a good thing, generally: You can learn things about life from other people.

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I would like to adopt TimeTravel and send this page back to myself about 40 years ago.  -- JohnFletcher

Would you really have listened?  AdviceDoesntWork.  --NickBensema